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Meeting the parents

Tips for Dating Japanese girls


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As you should already know by now, the Japanese culture values highly the importance of family, community and the preservation of human interaction.

While meeting the parents is an important occasion in any family, it is even more so with Japanese girls.

First of all, don’t let the high tech gadgets and modern skyscrapers fool you – Japanese culture is still a very traditional one. On the outside, it’s super-modern, but on the inside, traditions still reign, especially family traditions.

In the west, once you’re grown up and out of the house, you’re your own person. Your folks still have some influence, but you basically make your own decisions. If, for example, you choose a partner they don’t like, it’s too bad for them.

Not so for Japanese women. Women especially are still totally under the control of their parents until the old folks DIE! You may think it’s strange that your almost 30 yo girlfriend is so under the sway of daddy, but trust me, it never ends.

It’s also true that some old guys don’t like foreigners. They just don’t want their little girl to be seeing a foreign devil. But more likely, they just don’t know any foreigners. It’s not that they don’t like you; they just have no experience with foreigners and, like most Japanese people, they don’t know what to expect.

Meeting the parents is always tough, but you’ve got to be especially careful with a Japanese father. Try working to make the best first impression possible.

Before meeting the parents, understanding Japanese dating customs and traditions would be of great advantage to you, if not vital.

I’d urge anybody dealing with this issue to learn some Japanese and learn about Japanese culture. For example, all the etiquette about going into a Japanese home – you should know it inside and out. Get some Japanese down so you can communicate at least a little. Also, let them know you’re studying Japanese and learning about Japan – oh, and you LOVE Japan!

Society's perception of international romances in Japan appears to be that of resigned acceptance, so do not be shocked if there is opposition on the part of some Japanese fathers and/or mothers concerning their daughter marrying a foreigner. Granting that this mindset has progressively started to change in recent times, a large amount of traditional Japanese still would like their children to get married to Japanese.

This implies simply asking your Japanese girlfriend what you need to know about her parents and also family, including what type of job they are or were in, whether they are really serious or possess a sense of humor, whether they like individuals who are outgoing or more reserved, etc.

Don't forget, always bring a small gift when meeting the parents of the Japanese girl you are dating.